In the dissolution of my marriage, I learned that you don’t find your faith in your downfall, but in the slow…agonizing ascension afterwards. It’s the moment when you realize you can do better, be better, and deserve better. The moment you find clarity and you see the path upwards. That is the moment faith has arrived. It is not when you’re crying because of how naive you’ve been. It’s not when your chest is collapsing on itself and your mind is torturing you with false hope. It’s not when your words are heaving breaths. It’s the moment when you accept what has happened in your soul…but your heart, body and mind are still catching up.
It’s when you reclaim possession of your tears that healing begins.
That is when God arrives.
Then comes the moment you leave them to God. It becomes a satisfying farewell to part from them in God’s grace. To know that when you say I leave you to God it can be either a threat or a peace offering. Either way, it absolves you from the pain and you can accept that nothing you did or can do will change it.
Sadly coming to terms with what is doesn’t rid you of the doubt, fear, and guilt you feel.
Did I do everything in my power to make it work?
Was I patient enough?
What about the kids?
Am I failing them by leaving?
The questions echo in your head even though you know you’ve made the right decision. You contemplated, cried, and prayed. Still the answer is…this unsightly, disastrous, soul crushing word.
Divorce.
It’s disliked by God.
But I am not.
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allah blogger death divorce donate dua faith family Feminism hadith Islam islamic parenting love mental health motherhood Muslim muslim moms muslim women Poetry quran ramadan reminders religion Somalia terror attack Women's Rights writing
allah blogger death divorce donate dua faith family Feminism hadith Islam islamic parenting love mental health motherhood Muslim muslim moms muslim women Poetry quran ramadan reminders religion Somalia terror attack Women's Rights writing
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