Is this all I am? A mom?

Motherhood is a paradox. It is the greatest blessing and yet, at times, an unraveling. It is the highest honor and a burden that feels impossible to bear. It is a test of love, patience, and faith. But what happens when in the process of mothering, you forget who you are?

You were once an individual with dreams, goals, and an identity that was yours alone. Then, motherhood arrived like a tidal wave, reshaping everything. And somewhere in between the sleepless nights and the never-ending demands, you began to wonder: Where did I go?

But the struggle of identity in motherhood is not just about losing yourself. It’s also about the immense weight of responsibility, not just for your child’s future in this world but also their Hereafter.

You wonder, Am I raising them right? Am I doing enough? You see the way they watch you…the way they pick up on your smallest habits. How they imitate your words, your prayers, your fears, becoming a mirror for you to reflect upon. And the burden becomes heavier. Because you’re not just a mother. You’re their first role model, their foundation, their example. But what if you feel like you’re failing? The truth is, we are not meant to be heroes in the way the world defines them. The burden of being ‘perfect’ is one we place on ourselves, not one Allah placed on us.

Allah reminds us in the Quran: “No soul is burdened with more than it can bear…” (Qur’an 2:286). And yet, we mother from a place of guilt, from exhaustion, from self-doubt. We set impossible standards for ourselves and forget that even the greatest role models-the prophets-were not without moments of hardship and struggle.

Even Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) felt the weight of responsibility. He (ﷺ) once said: “All of you are shepherds, and each of you is responsible for his flock…” (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 212).

Motherhood is not just a duty. It is a divine act of worship. The sleep you sacrifice, the patience you practice, the duas you make in the quiet hours of the night, none of it is lost. Allah sees it all. And in that, there is comfort.

So how do we move beyond the weight of expectation? How do we emerge from the shadows of burnout and into the light of purpose? The answer lies in shifting our focus not from motherhood, but through motherhood. When we realign our hearts toward Allah, we stop mothering from fear and start mothering from faith.

The Quran and Sunnah provide the framework for being the best role models. Not by being perfect, but by being sincere. Sincerity in our love for your children and our families. We show this by making istighfar when we fall short. By apologizing to our kids when we do them wrong. By showing our children what it means to seek forgiveness when we’ve done wrong, we show them what it means to turn to Allah in every stage of life— joy, hardship, and uncertainty. Our children don’t need us to be superheroes. They need to see us as real, striving believers. They need to witness Tawakkul (trust in Allah) in action. They need to see what resilience looks like when anchored in faith. And that is enough. That is the kind of mother we should strive to be. One with faults, but a willingness to continue to be better for the sake of Allah. For the sake of not only our hereafter, but our kids looking up to us.

So to the mother who feels lost in the endlessness of caregiving, who worries she is not enough, who battles between duty and identity, remember this: You are seen. You are valued. You are fulfilling an act of worship that is written for you in the heavens.

Yes, Motherhood is losing yourself, but only so that you can evolve into something greater. It is not a diminishing of your identity, but an expansion of your purpose. And if you feel burdened, turn to Allah. Because no act of sacrifice, no tear shed in exhaustion, no whispered dua goes unnoticed by Him. Motherhood is an act of worship.