My Musings

  • Marriage: The season finale

    In the dissolution of my marriage, I learned that you don’t find your faith in your downfall, but in the slow…agonizing ascension afterwards. It’s the moment when you realize you can do better, be better, and deserve better. The moment you find clarity and you see the path upwards. That is the moment faith has…

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  • Love letters to Past me

    It’s easy to feel regret, but harder to acknowledge growth. We want to be so far removed from who once were that we don’t appreciate how hard they tried. How much effort they put in to be better? Yes, maybe current you would have excelled then, but isn’t that proof of the efforts past you…

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  • I don’t exist in the future

    ٱقْتُلُوا۟ يُوسُفَ أَوِ ٱطْرَحُوهُ أَرْضًۭا يَخْلُ لَكُمْ وَجْهُ أَبِيكُمْ وَتَكُونُوا۟ مِنۢ بَعْدِهِۦ قَوْمًۭا صَـٰلِحِينَ Kill Joseph or cast him out to some ˹distant˺ land so that our father’s attention will be only ours, then after that you may ˹repent and˺ become righteous people! (12:9) In this verse Yusuf’s brothers collude against him and determining to…

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  • Sabr

    Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” (13:24) In that one verse, I understand why when my heart is in emotional distress I find myself uttering Alhamdulilah. It is a reminder that ultimately every bit pain you feel, from physical to emotional, there is blessing in it.…

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  • Repent & Repeat: An Endless Cycle

    I have sins that have become habits. Sins so ingrained in my day to day that they slip past my conscience and settle deep into my heart, slowly decaying it. “She said do you love me. I only love my bed and my momma, I’m sorry” I memorize hooks and choruses with ease, but my…

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